Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Hair Dye VS Pregnancy

I have heard that you aren't suppose to dye your hair when you're pregnant.
From what I understand it's not for the babies safety as much as the hormones that are in your body make the color turn out a little weird.
I have dyed my hair in my last pregnancy. 
I have even dyed it in the first few months of this pregnancy.
I have never had a problem,
until today.

My hair was looking pretty rough again.
I picked out a color that I thought would be nice:
Not too light, not to dark.
This morning I had a bunch of errands to run, but had a little extra time to dye my hair.

While I was waiting for the dye to set I could feel it burning a little more than usual, but I didn't really think anything of it.
I knew as soon as I walked back into the bathroom to wash it out that it was probably going to be a little more red than I wanted.
I had no idea how bad it was really going to be until I stepped out of the shower and realized that my hair wasn't even dry yet and it was still red.
This is the only picture that actually does any justice of how red it really is...
I actually like red hair...
Today I realized that it not quite right for me.
 Sergio's response was, it's not that bad...
Isn't he sweet.

My mom said, it's alright but it needs to be darker.
My favorite part of this whole experience... 
It didn't even cover my whites...
It fact, if you could really see it, they are actually a nice pinkish/purple color.  
None the less...
I just thought I would just add my opinion to the whole "dye during pregnancy" debate.
Yes, hormones do change the color of your hair dye.
But a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do.

Any-who, please excuse me while I go dye my hair a much MUCH less red color. 

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

They Could Be Sisters!

This is a 14 Week Ultrasound of ZZ:
This is the 19 Week Ultrasound of Baby #2 
Any similarities? 
Baby #2 is still pretty skinny, 
but I am pretty sure she will put on those chubby cheeks in the next few weeks.

It looks like she is going to have a full head of hair too...
These 3D ultrasounds are amazing to me.
I love all of the details.

We can't wait to get to see both of them together.

I was so excited when we found out that we were having a girl.
I never had any sisters so I am glad that ZZ will have that opportunity.

The other day ZZ came into my room while the baby was sticking out.
I asked her if she would like to feel the baby.  She gently rubbed my tummy for a few minutes.

She is fascinated with the ultrasound pictures and loves to look at them with me. 

I hope that she stays excited in the last couple of months as my mommy lap space gets smaller and smaller.

Belly pictures to come soon!

Sunday, February 17, 2013

A Simple Confession

I have been putting this post off for a really long time.

Even after having all of this time to think about it, I still don't know how to put into words what I really want to say.  

I don't ever know exactly how personal I want this blog to be.  I don't know who is reading and who isn't or if anyone is reading.  I don't know what is appropriate and what isn't.  I don't know how many blogs I have sketched out on paper and then just put in my journal because I didn't know if I was quite ready for people to know what I really am feeling. 
It's the eternal struggle that I often find myself in.  I enjoy blogs that people say things the way they are and how life really is, but when it came to personal things in my own life I didn't know how much I wanted to share.

So I still feel like there are things that I would like to say.  And right now seems like the perfect time to say, because I have actually started to say it.

I guess I need to start from about a year ago.
Last year I started having some health problems that was obvious that my body wasn't quite working right.  I visited the doctor...a lot.
This is the part where I don't know how much detail is too much...so it suffices me to say that we didn't know if or when we would be able to have more children.  
I was lucky in the fact that my symptoms were obvious and I was able to get help, unlike many women who wait years to have a baby not even knowing that there is anything wrong with their bodies.
I read everything I could to get answers and prayed a lot that everything would be okay.
I was physically and emotionally a mess.

I knew in my heart that we would be able to have children again, I just didn't know when it was going to happen.
I was extremely grateful for the long car rides with my mom to Utah every couple of weeks that we were able to talk and cry and talk some more. 
 It was an extremely emotional journey.  
I never got angry about what I was going though, per se, but I was a lot more aware of the ignorant comments that people make without even thinking.  I was also noticed every single time someone posted something pro abortion and it made my heart cringe.  I wanted a baby so bad and thousands of babies were literally being ripped apart and being thrown in the garbage every single day. (Worldwide, there are estimated to be more than 40 million abortions per year.  See Gilda Sedgh and others, “Induced Abortion: Incidence and Trends Worldwide from 1995 to 2008,” The Lancet, vol. 379, no. 9816 (Feb. 18, 2012), 625–32.)   

I was super excited to see that several of my friends were pregnant.  It didn't bother me.  I was so happy for them.  However, it did make me evermore aware of how very un-pregnant I was.

I also became very aware of other people that might be having problems similar to mine and tried to read everything I could online to find other people's success stories.  My heart truly aches for those of you that are feeling that empty feeling that comes from infertility or secondary infertility.  I never knew  how painful that could possibly be, and to some degree I never will.

Sergio stayed so calm and, honestly, I don't think he could understand why I was as nervous as I was.  He knew that everything was going to be alright.

It turns out he was right, like always, and we were blessed to not have to wait but a small moment.

A few days after Sergio's birthday I took a pregnancy test.  I was absolutely positive that it was going to be negative without the slightest doubt in my mind, but with just enough faith to act.
I about fell off my...seat when instantly a 2nd line appeared on my test.  It was a miracle, but I still wasn't convinced.  I called the Dr's office and told them I needed to come in for a blood draw.  They asked me if I had taken a test and I told them yes...and that I was pretty sure it was positive.  They asked what kind of test I had taken and I was congratulated and asked when I would like to set up my first prenatal appointment.

I was in complete and total shock.

Sergio had still been waiting for one of his birthday presents that I ordered a little late online so when he came home to a nicely wrapped present I don't think he really thought anything of it:

I love the look of utter and complete surprise on his face.  I couldn't say anything without tears just running down my face. 

A few days later we told my parents.  They were every bit as shocked as we were.

I didn't tell ANYONE that I was pregnant.
In fact.  I was in complete denial that I was really pregnant...I don't know if denial is the right word.
I wasn't going to say a thing, just in case there were other complications.
I didn't want to make it too real, just in case things didn't work out as happily as we were wanting it to.

We recorded this video to announce to my brothers:

Even hearing the heartbeat I wasn't convinced that nothing was going to go wrong.

A few weeks ago I gave my family the go ahead to tell anyone that they wanted to but they kept saying that I was the one that needed to tell people.  To be completely honest I didn't know how to bring it up.  I think in part I was afraid to jinx something.

I could probably count the number of people that I told on one hand.
So if you didn't hear directly from me or face to face, please don't feel left out.  I have had a really hard time announcing.

However...I am SUPER excited.

On Friday (19 weeks and some odd days)
Sergio, ZZ, my mom and I were able to go to our ultrasound.
I watched as our baby moved around, sucked its thumb and rubbed its eyes and I knew it was real.
At the end I watched the tech check off "OK" on each of the different parts of the baby and a feeling of relief came over me.
We really are going to have another baby!
I could even tell people that we are expecting our 2nd!!

I had thought of all of the fun ways to tell everyone...
but everything I was trying wasn't working out quite right.
For the record...she is trying to show you her belly.  
It seemed like a really good idea at first.
Something about having my daughter flashing the camera didn't feel quite appropriate to announce that we were going to try to raise another child. 
When I was looking through a couple of our other pictures I decided to settle on this family picture at our ultrasound:
What better way to show off our expanding family.

None the less, 
Now that it is Ultrasound and Facebook official...
I am sure I will load up this blog with all sorts of fun little pictures of baby bellies and newborns.
Be prepared to be bombarded!

Sunday, February 10, 2013

ZZ's Two!

I can't believe how time just seems to fly by.
We had a wonderful time celebrating ZZ's 2nd Birthday.
My mom had the wonderful idea of doing a pizza bar for dinner.
We each had our own little personal pizza crusts and we made our own pizzas with every topping that you can imagine.
They tasted so good!  
I decided that I could eat these pizzas every day...forever.
After dinner we started opening presents. 
She was pretty sure that "Ho-Ho" had come to visit again and was really excited for presents.
She made quite the haul. 
She even got some big girl panties.
She might kill me some day for this picture...but I just thought I would highlight our goal for this year. 
ZZ and Miss C showed each other all the fun toys and had a blast trying to figure them all out.
My mommy made this beautiful cake for ZZ.
She's a fan of princesses.
ZZ got a little frustrated that she couldn't figure out how to get Cinderella into the coach. 
We had to cut the cake so that she would realize that it really was cake and not another toy. 
She actually did a really well blowing out her candles once I held them closer together. 
It was a wonderful Birthday.

ZZ is growing up so fast. 
She has the cutest little qualities and a tenderness that I have never seen in a 2 year old before. 
She definitely keeps us on our toes. 
Every single day is an adventure, 
but I truly wouldn't have it any other way.
Every day she talks more and more and she is always learning something new.
I am honored to be her mom and watch her grow.
I hope she had a happy year.
We've sure enjoyed having her around.
Happy Birthday Princess.

Other links:

2 Cute!

You will never guess who turned 2 this weekend!!!
Isn't she perfect.

My dear friend Shana is an extremely talented artist.
She was so sweet and took a bunch (400+/-) of pictures of our little princess.
It was quite the adventure, 
but her and her husband, Vlad, 
were so patience with the tornado that a two year old can be.
I can't believe how pretty they turned out, 
so I have to share.
I love all of them so much that I can't stop just looking at them over and over and over and over again.

She was even able to catch a couple of candid "warm up pictures."
We had so much fun hanging out.
I am so excited to catch these little moments of ZZ growing up.
It is sure happening a bit faster than we would like.

Which of the pictures are your favorites?